Completely severing ties of kinship is a major sin, even when relatives behave badly. But keeping ties does not mean accepting abuse: your safety comes first. You can limit contact, protect yourself and keep only the minimum that is safe, such as dua and, where possible, greetings or help, while leaving the door open.
The warnings about cutting family ties are among the strongest in the Sunnah. "The person who severs the bond of
kinship will not enter Paradise" 1. Allah told the womb (ar-rahm, the bond of kinship) that He will keep ties
with whoever keeps ties with it and cut off whoever cuts it 2. The Quran even links cutting ties with
corruption on earth and Allah's curse 3.
What if they are the ones causing harm? The Prophet ﷺ answered this directly. "Al-Wasil (the one who truly keeps
ties) is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives", but the one who keeps ties with
relatives who cut him off 4. A man complained that his relatives treated him badly despite his kindness, and
the Prophet ﷺ told him that as long as he continued, he would have Allah's support over them 5.
Silence also has limits. "It is not lawful for a man to desert his brother Muslim for more than three nights",
and the better of two estranged people is the one who greets first 6. Scholars explain that this limit is about
personal grudges, not about keeping distance for your safety.
But Islam also forbids harm: "There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm" 7. Keeping ties does not
require you to stay in an abusive situation or in contact that puts you in danger. Scholars explain that the
minimum of kinship can be kept through a greeting, a message on important occasions, help in real need, and dua,
while physical distance and firm boundaries protect you. If even that is unsafe, many scholars say that
dua for them from a distance is enough.
Abu Bakr once swore to stop supporting a relative, Mistah, who had joined in slandering his daughter Aisha, and Allah revealed: "let them
pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you?" 8. If you can forgive, that is the
higher path. If you cannot yet, keep the minimum, protect yourself, and ask Allah to soften hearts. Forgiving
someone never means returning to danger. If you are being abused or threatened, get to safety and seek help
from the authorities, a professional or a trusted imam.
The evidence
1
HadithSahih al-Bukhari 5984
SahihBukhari
The one who severs ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.
Narrated Jubair bin Mut`im:That he heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise
العربية
حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ بُكَيْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُقَيْلٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَ بْنَ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِمٍ، قَالَ إِنَّ جُبَيْرَ بْنَ مُطْعِمٍ أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّهُ، سَمِعَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ " لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ قَاطِعٌ ".
2
HadithSahih al-Bukhari 5987
SahihBukhari
Allah keeps ties with whoever keeps the bond of kinship and cuts off whoever cuts it.
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah created the creations, and when He finished from His creations, Ar-Rahm i.e., womb said, "(O Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of Kith and kin). Allah said, 'Yes, won't you be pleased that I will keep good relations with the one who will keep good relations with you, and I will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relations with you.' It said, 'Yes, O my Lord.' Allah said, 'Then that is for you ' " Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) added. "Read (in the Qur'an) if you wish, the Statement of Allah: 'Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship?
22 So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship 23 Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision
4
HadithSahih al-Bukhari 5991
SahihBukhari
The true maintainer of ties keeps them with relatives who cut him off.
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him
العربية
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ كَثِيرٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، وَالْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، وَفِطْرٍ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو ـ وَقَالَ سُفْيَانُ لَمْ يَرْفَعْهُ الأَعْمَشُ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَرَفَعَهُ حَسَنٌ وَفِطْرٌ ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الْوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قَطَعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا ".
5
HadithSahih Muslim 2558
SahihMuslim
A man who is kind to relatives who mistreat him has Allah's support over them.
Abu Huraira reported that a person said:Allah's Messenger, I have relatives with whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me. Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness)
It is not lawful to desert a Muslim for more than three nights; the better one greets first.
Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari:Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "It is not lawful for a man to desert his brother Muslim for more than three nights. (It is unlawful for them that) when they meet, one of them turns his face away from the other, and the other turns his face from the former, and the better of the two will be the one who greets the other first
And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful
This answer was compiled with the help of AI, using only the verified texts shown here. Every reference links to its source. If you find a mistake, please report it. Updated 2026-09-24