How should parents treat their children in Islam?

The short answer

With mercy, fairness and responsibility. The Prophet ﷺ kissed and played with children, told parents to be just between their children, and taught that every parent is a shepherd responsible for their family. Providing for your children is one of the most rewarded ways of spending.

Evidence 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Explanation

Mercy comes first. The Prophet ﷺ kissed his grandson Al-Hasan in front of a man who said he had ten children and had never kissed any of them. The Prophet ﷺ looked at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully" 1. He even carried his granddaughter Umamah on his shoulder while praying, putting her down when he bowed and lifting her again when he stood 2.

Fairness matters just as much. When a Companion gave one son a gift and asked the Prophet ﷺ to witness it, he asked whether all his children had received the same. When the answer was no, he said, "Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children", and the gift was taken back 3. Favouritism plants resentment between siblings.

Parents are also responsible for their children's faith. "Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire" 4. The Prophet ﷺ said, "All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards", and "a man is the guardian of his family", while a woman is the guardian of her husband's house 5. Every child is born on the fitrah (natural faith), and parents shape what that child becomes 6.

Providing for them is worship. Of all the money you spend, "the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family" 7. And neglect is a serious sin: "It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects him whom he maintains" 8.

In practice: hug them, play with them, listen to them, be fair in gifts and attention, teach them Allah and prayer with love, provide for them properly, and make dua for them. Children remember how you made them feel long after they forget what you said.

The evidence

  1. 1
    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 5997
    Sahih Bukhari

    The Prophet ﷺ kissed Al-Hasan and said whoever shows no mercy is shown no mercy.

    Narrated Abu Huraira:Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kissed Al-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra' bin H`Abis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْيَمَانِ، أَخْبَرَنَا شُعَيْبٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، أَنَّ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَبَّلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الْحَسَنَ بْنَ عَلِيٍّ وَعِنْدَهُ الأَقْرَعُ بْنُ حَابِسٍ التَّمِيمِيُّ جَالِسًا‏.‏ فَقَالَ الأَقْرَعُ إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ مِنْهُمْ أَحَدًا‏.‏ فَنَظَرَ إِلَيْهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏ "‏ مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمُ لاَ يُرْحَمُ ‏"‏‏.‏

  2. 2
    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 5996
    Sahih Bukhari

    The Prophet ﷺ prayed while carrying his granddaughter Umamah.

    Narrated Abu Qatada:The Prophet (ﷺ) came out towards us, while carrying Umamah, the daughter of Abi Al-As (his granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up, he lifted her up

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْوَلِيدِ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ الْمَقْبُرِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عَمْرُو بْنُ سُلَيْمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو قَتَادَةَ، قَالَ خَرَجَ عَلَيْنَا النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأُمَامَةُ بِنْتُ أَبِي الْعَاصِ عَلَى عَاتِقِهِ، فَصَلَّى فَإِذَا رَكَعَ وَضَعَهَا، وَإِذَا رَفَعَ رَفَعَهَا‏.‏

  3. 3
    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 2587
    Sahih Bukhari

    Fear Allah and be just between your children.

    Narrated 'Amir:I heard An-Nu`man bin Bashir on the pulpit saying, "My father gave me a gift but `Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and said, 'I have given a gift to my son from `Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a witness to it, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)!' Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) asked, 'Have you given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?' He replied in the negative. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' My father then returned and took back his gift

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا حَامِدُ بْنُ عُمَرَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَوَانَةَ، عَنْ حُصَيْنٍ، عَنْ عَامِرٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ النُّعْمَانَ بْنَ بَشِيرٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ وَهُوَ عَلَى الْمِنْبَرِ يَقُولُ أَعْطَانِي أَبِي عَطِيَّةً، فَقَالَتْ عَمْرَةُ بِنْتُ رَوَاحَةَ لاَ أَرْضَى حَتَّى تُشْهِدَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏.‏ فَأَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ إِنِّي أَعْطَيْتُ ابْنِي مِنْ عَمْرَةَ بِنْتِ رَوَاحَةَ عَطِيَّةً، فَأَمَرَتْنِي أَنْ أُشْهِدَكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَعْطَيْتَ سَائِرَ وَلَدِكَ مِثْلَ هَذَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ لاَ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ، وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلاَدِكُمْ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ فَرَجَعَ فَرَدَّ عَطِيَّتَهُ‏.‏

  4. 4
    Quran At-Tahrim · 66:6

    Protect yourselves and your families from the Fire.

    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارࣰ ا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلۡحِجَارَةُ عَلَيۡهَا مَلَٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظࣱ شِدَادࣱ لَّا يَعۡصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمۡ وَيَفۡعَلُونَ مَا يُؤۡمَرُونَ ۝٦

    O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded

  5. 5
    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 893
    Sahih Bukhari

    Every one of you is a guardian responsible for those in his care.

    Narrated Ibn `Umar:I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, "All of you are Guardians." Yunus said: Ruzaiq bin Hukaim wrote to Ibn Shihab while I was with him at Wadi-al-Qura saying, "Shall I lead the Jumua prayer?" Ruzaiq was working on the land (i.e. farming) and there was a group of Sudanese people and some others with him; Ruzaiq was then the Governor of Aila. Ibn Shihab wrote (to Ruzaiq) ordering him to lead the Jumua prayer and telling him that Salim told him that `Abdullah bin `Umar had said, "I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it. A servant is the guardian of his master's belongings and is responsible for them.' I thought that he also said, 'A man is the guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا بِشْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا يُونُسُ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا سَالِمُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏"‏ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ ‏"‏‏.‏ وَزَادَ اللَّيْثُ قَالَ يُونُسُ كَتَبَ رُزَيْقُ بْنُ حُكَيْمٍ إِلَى ابْنِ شِهَابٍ ـ وَأَنَا مَعَهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ بِوَادِي الْقُرَى ـ هَلْ تَرَى أَنْ أُجَمِّعَ‏.‏ وَرُزَيْقٌ عَامِلٌ عَلَى أَرْضٍ يَعْمَلُهَا، وَفِيهَا جَمَاعَةٌ مِنَ السُّودَانِ وَغَيْرِهِمْ، وَرُزَيْقٌ يَوْمَئِذٍ عَلَى أَيْلَةَ، فَكَتَبَ ابْنُ شِهَابٍ ـ وَأَنَا أَسْمَعُ ـ يَأْمُرُهُ أَنْ يُجَمِّعَ، يُخْبِرُهُ أَنَّ سَالِمًا حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُمَرَ يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏"‏ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، الإِمَامُ رَاعٍ وَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ فِي أَهْلِهِ وَهْوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ فِي بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَمَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهَا، وَالْخَادِمُ رَاعٍ فِي مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ـ قَالَ وَحَسِبْتُ أَنْ قَدْ قَالَ ـ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ فِي مَالِ أَبِيهِ وَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ‏"‏‏.‏

  6. 6
    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 1385
    Sahih Bukhari

    Every child is born on the fitrah; the parents shape his religion.

    Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Every child is born with a true faith of Islam (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) and his parents convert him to Judaism or Christianity or Magianism, as an animal delivers a perfect baby animal. Do you find it mutilated?

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي ذِئْبٍ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ كُلُّ مَوْلُودٍ يُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ، فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ أَوْ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ أَوْ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ، كَمَثَلِ الْبَهِيمَةِ تُنْتَجُ الْبَهِيمَةَ، هَلْ تَرَى فِيهَا جَدْعَاءَ ‏"‏‏.‏

  7. 7
    Hadith Sahih Muslim 995
    Sahih Muslim

    The money with the greatest reward is what you spend on your family.

    Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:Of the dinar you spend as a contribution in Allah's path, or to set free a slave, or as a sadaqa given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَزُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَأَبُو كُرَيْبٍ - وَاللَّفْظُ لأَبِي كُرَيْبٍ - قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، عَنْ مُزَاحِمِ بْنِ زُفَرَ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ دِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَدِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ فِي رَقَبَةٍ وَدِينَارٌ تَصَدَّقْتَ بِهِ عَلَى مِسْكِينٍ وَدِينَارٌ أَنْفَقْتَهُ عَلَى أَهْلِكَ أَعْظَمُهَا أَجْرًا الَّذِي أَنْفَقْتَهُ عَلَى أَهْلِكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

  8. 8
    Hadith Sunan Abi Dawud 1692
    Hasan graded by Al-Albani

    It is enough sin for a man to neglect those he is responsible for.

    Abd Allah bin ‘Amr reported the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying :It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects him whom he maintains

    العربية

    حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ كَثِيرٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ وَهْبِ بْنِ جَابِرٍ الْخَيْوَانِيِّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ إِثْمًا أَنْ يُضَيِّعَ مَنْ يَقُوتُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

This answer was compiled with the help of AI, using only the verified texts shown here. Every reference links to its source. If you find a mistake, please report it. Updated 2026-09-24

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