The short answer
The Quran describes marriage through affection and mercy, and commands spouses to live together in kindness. Speak truthfully, listen without humiliation, and seek fair mediation when a disagreement cannot be resolved privately; safety comes first if there is abuse.
The Quran describes spouses as a source of tranquillity and says Allah placed affection and mercy between them 1. It also instructs husbands to live with wives in kindness 2. These principles call both spouses to respect, patience and fair speech; they do not mean a person must remain silent about harm or accept abuse.
When conflict deepens, the Quran recommends appointing an arbitrator from each family if reconciliation is desired 3. Mediation should be fair and safe, with people who take both spouses seriously. A couple can also seek a qualified counsellor or scholar. Practical steps include choosing a calm time to talk, describing the issue without insults, hearing the other's concern and agreeing on one next action.
Kindness does not require pretending every problem is small. If there is violence, coercion or a credible threat, prioritize safety and contact trusted support or local authorities. A qualified scholar can advise on religious rights and obligations in the specific situation. The texts guide conduct; they do not supply a clinical treatment plan for every marriage.
Marriage is marked by tranquillity, affection and mercy.
وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ وَرَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَٰتࣲ لِّقَوۡمࣲ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ ٢١
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought
Spouses are commanded to live together in kindness.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمۡ أَن تَرِثُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرۡهࣰ اۖ وَلَا تَعۡضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذۡهَبُواْ بِبَعۡضِ مَآ ءَاتَيۡتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأۡتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةࣲ مُّبَيِّنَةࣲۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـࣰٔ ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرࣰ ا كَثِيرࣰ ا ١٩
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good
When serious discord is feared, appoint fair arbitrators from both families.
وَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ شِقَاقَ بَيۡنِهِمَا فَٱبۡعَثُواْ حَكَمࣰ ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهِۦ وَحَكَمࣰ ا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصۡلَٰحࣰ ا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيۡنَهُمَآۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرࣰ ا ٣٥
And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]
A spouse should not be judged only by a disliked trait while other good traits are present.
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another
وَحَدَّثَنِي إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ مُوسَى الرَّازِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى، - يَعْنِي ابْنَ يُونُسَ - حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْحَمِيدِ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، عَنْ عِمْرَانَ بْنِ أَبِي أَنَسٍ، عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لاَ يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ " . أَوْ قَالَ " غَيْرَهُ " .
This answer was compiled with the help of AI, using only the verified texts shown here. Every reference links to its source. If you find a mistake, please report it. Updated 2026-09-25