Look above all for religion and good character. The Prophet ﷺ said people marry for wealth, status, beauty and religion, and told us to prioritise religion. Attraction also matters: you are encouraged to see the person before agreeing, and to pray istikhara and consult your family.
Marriage is one of Allah's signs: He created spouses "that you may find tranquillity in them" and placed
"affection and mercy" between them 1. Choosing well matters.
The Prophet ﷺ was realistic about what people look for: "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth,
her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman" 2. Wealth and looks
are not forbidden considerations, but they should not come first. A spouse's faith and character shape your home,
your children and your Hereafter.
The same standard applies to men. The Prophet ﷺ told families that when someone whose "religion and character"
they are pleased with proposes, they should accept, or there will be fitnah (trouble) and corruption in the land
3. So families should not turn away a good man only for money or status.
Attraction is part of this too. When Al-Mughirah proposed to a woman, the Prophet ﷺ told him, "Look at her, for
indeed that is more likely to make things better between the two of you" 4. This is a respectful look with the
intention of marriage, not dating.
For young people who are ready, the Prophet ﷺ encouraged marriage because "it helps him lower his gaze and guard
his modesty", and advised fasting for those who cannot yet marry 5. And Allah promises that if the unmarried
are poor, He will enrich them from His bounty 6.
Finally, ask Allah. The Prophet ﷺ taught istikhara (the prayer for guidance) for all important decisions: two
rak'ahs and a dua asking Allah to make the matter easy if it is good for your religion and life, and to turn it
away if not 7. Combine it with sincere research, involving your family and asking people who know the person.
The evidence
1
Quran Ar-Room · 30:21
Allah created spouses for tranquillity and placed affection and mercy between them.
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought
2
HadithSahih al-Bukhari 5090
SahihBukhari
A woman is married for wealth, status, beauty and religion; choose the religious one.
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers
العربية
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ".
3
HadithJami' at-Tirmidhi 1084
Hasangraded by Al-AlbaniGraders differ
Ahmad Muhammad Shakir: Hasan
Al-Albani: Hasan
Zubair Ali Zai: Daif
Accept a proposal from one whose religion and character please you, or there will be fitnah.
Abu Hurairah narrated that:The Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)
Look at the person you are proposing to, as it makes things better between you.
Bakr bin Abdullah Al-Muzani narrated that :Al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah proposed to a woman, so the Prophet said: "Look at her, for indeed that is more likely to make things better between the two of you
Young people who can marry should marry; it helps lower the gaze and guard chastity.
Narrated `Abdullah:We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power
العربية
حَدَّثَنَا عُمَرُ بْنُ حَفْصِ بْنِ غِيَاثٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبِي، حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي عُمَارَةُ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، قَالَ دَخَلْتُ مَعَ عَلْقَمَةَ وَالأَسْوَدِ عَلَى عَبْدِ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَبَابًا لاَ نَجِدُ شَيْئًا فَقَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهُ صلى الله عليه وسلم " يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ".
6
Quran An-Noor · 24:32
Marry the unmarried; if they are poor, Allah will enrich them.
And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing
7
HadithSahih al-Bukhari 1166
SahihBukhari
The Prophet ﷺ taught the istikhara prayer for decisions.
Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah:The Prophet (ﷺ) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur'an. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two rak`at prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): -- 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika Al-`azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-lamra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati `Amri (or 'ajili `Amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati `Amri (or fi'ajili `Amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.' (O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter--(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)--Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter--(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)--Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it). The Prophet (ﷺ) added that then the person should name (mention) his need
This answer was compiled with the help of AI, using only the verified texts shown here. Every reference links to its source. If you find a mistake, please report it. Updated 2026-09-24