The short answer
Yes, dating in the usual sense, a private romantic relationship outside marriage, is not allowed. The Quran describes chaste believers as not "taking [secret] lovers" and forbids even approaching zina. Getting to know a potential spouse is allowed in a respectful way, with family involved and without being alone together.
Allah does not only forbid zina (sex outside marriage); He says, "do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way" 1. "Do not approach" closes the doors that lead there.
The Quran also names the relationship itself. It describes chaste men and women in marriage as "not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers" 2. The word used, akhdan, means boyfriends and girlfriends in a private relationship. Ibn Kathir explains it as "those who have mistresses and girlfriends" 7.
The Prophet ﷺ closed the practical doors too. "No man should stay with a lady in seclusion except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram" (a close male relative) 3. And he explained that sins of the body begin earlier: "the adultery of the eyes is the sight... the adultery of the tongue is the talk", and the heart desires 4. Long private chats, flirting and constant contact are exactly this.
Islam is not against love. It gives it a home. The Prophet ﷺ said, "There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another" 5. If you have feelings for someone, the halal path is to make it serious: involve your families, get to know each other in supervised settings, ask about character and religion, and move towards nikah.
If you are not ready to marry yet, the Prophet ﷺ advised fasting, which helps control desire 6. And if you are already in a relationship, you have not gone too far to turn back. End what is haram and repent sincerely, as Allah invites every believer to do, with the hope that He will wipe away the misdeeds 8. If you are both serious, take the halal route with your families.
Do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse; it is an immorality and an evil way.
وَلَا تَقۡرَبُواْ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةࣰ وَسَآءَ سَبِيلࣰ ا ٣٢
And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way
Marriage is described as chastity, not unlawful intercourse or taking secret lovers.
ٱلۡيَوۡمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ ٱلطَّيِّبَٰتُۖ وَطَعَامُ ٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ ٱلۡكِتَٰبَ حِلࣱّ لَّكُمۡ وَطَعَامُكُمۡ حِلࣱّ لَّهُمۡۖ وَٱلۡمُحۡصَنَٰتُ مِنَ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنَٰتِ وَٱلۡمُحۡصَنَٰتُ مِنَ ٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ ٱلۡكِتَٰبَ مِن قَبۡلِكُمۡ إِذَآ ءَاتَيۡتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحۡصِنِينَ غَيۡرَ مُسَٰفِحِينَ وَلَا مُتَّخِذِيٓ أَخۡدَانࣲۗ وَمَن يَكۡفُرۡ بِٱلۡإِيمَٰنِ فَقَدۡ حَبِطَ عَمَلُهُۥ وَهُوَ فِي ٱلۡأٓخِرَةِ مِنَ ٱلۡخَٰسِرِينَ ٥
This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers
No man should be alone with a woman except in the presence of a mahram.
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "No man should stay with a lady in seclusion except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram." A man stood up and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! My wife has gone out intending to perform the Hajj and I have been enrolled (in the army) for such-and-such campaign." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Return and perform the Hajj with your wife
حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا عَمْرٌو، عَنْ أَبِي مَعْبَدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ مَعَ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ ". فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ امْرَأَتِي خَرَجَتْ حَاجَّةً وَاكْتُتِبْتُ فِي غَزْوَةِ كَذَا وَكَذَا. قَالَ " ارْجِعْ فَحُجَّ مَعَ امْرَأَتِكَ ".
The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the tongue is talk.
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira 'narrated from the Prophet who said "Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it
حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ ابْنِ طَاوُسٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ لَمْ أَرَ شَيْئًا أَشْبَهَ بِاللَّمَمِ مِنْ قَوْلِ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ. حَدَّثَنِي مَحْمُودٌ أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ أَخْبَرَنَا مَعْمَرٌ عَنِ ابْنِ طَاوُسٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ شَيْئًا أَشْبَهَ بِاللَّمَمِ مِمَّا قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ عَلَى ابْنِ آدَمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الزِّنَا، أَدْرَكَ ذَلِكَ لاَ مَحَالَةَ، فَزِنَا الْعَيْنِ النَّظَرُ، وَزِنَا اللِّسَانِ الْمَنْطِقُ، وَالنَّفْسُ تَمَنَّى وَتَشْتَهِي، وَالْفَرْجُ يُصَدِّقُ ذَلِكَ كُلَّهُ وَيُكَذِّبُهُ ".
There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.
It was narrated from Ibn Abbas that:the Messenger of Allah said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.”
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى، حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدُ بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ مَيْسَرَةَ، عَنْ طَاوُسٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ " لَمْ نَرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ " .
Those who cannot marry should fast, as it helps control desire.
Narrated `Abdullah:We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power
حَدَّثَنَا عُمَرُ بْنُ حَفْصِ بْنِ غِيَاثٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبِي، حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي عُمَارَةُ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، قَالَ دَخَلْتُ مَعَ عَلْقَمَةَ وَالأَسْوَدِ عَلَى عَبْدِ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَبَابًا لاَ نَجِدُ شَيْئًا فَقَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهُ صلى الله عليه وسلم " يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ".
Made lawful to you this day are At-Tayyibat. The food of the People of the Scripture is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture before your time when you have given them their due, desiring chastity, not illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends (or lovers). And whosoever rejects faith, then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers (5) Permitting the Slaughtered Animals of the People of the Book After Allah mentioned the filthy things that He prohibited for His believing servants and the good things that He allowed for them, He said next, الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ (Made lawful to you this day are At-Tayyibat.) Allah then mentioned the ruling concerning the slaughtered animals of the People of the Book, the Jews and Christians, وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ حِلٌّ لَّكُمْ (The food of the People of the Scripture is lawful to you..) meaning, their slaughtered animals, as Ibn 'Abbas, Abu Umamah, Mujahid, Sa'id bin Jubayr, 'Ikrimah, 'Ata', Al-Hasan, Makhul, Ibrahim An-Nakha'i, As-Suddi and Muqatil bin Hayyan stated. This ruling, that the slaughtered animals of the People of the Book are permissible for Muslims, is agreed on by the scholars, because the People of the Book believe that slaughtering for other than Allah is prohibited. They mention Allah's Name upon slaughtering their animals, even though they have deviant beliefs about Allah that do not befit His majesty. It is recorded in the Sahih that 'Abdullah bin Mughaffal said, "While we were attacking the fort of Khaybar, a person threw a leather bag containing fat, and I ran to take it and said, 'I will not give anyone anything from this container today.' But when I turned I saw the Prophet ﷺ (standing behind) while smiling." The scholars rely on this Hadith as evidence that we are allowed to eat what we need of foods from the booty before it is divided. The scholars of the Hanafi, the Shafi'i and the Hanbali Madhhabs rely on this Hadith to allow eating parts of the slaughtered animals of the Jews that they prohibit for themselves, such as the fat. They used this Hadith as evidence against the scholars of the Maliki Madhhab who disagreed with this ruling. A better proof is the Hadith recorded in the Sahih that the people of Khaybar gave the Prophet ﷺ a gift of a roasted leg of sheep, which they poisoned. The Prophet ﷺ used to like eating the leg of the sheep and he took a bite from it, but it told the Prophet ﷺ that it was poisoned, so he discarded that bite. The bite that the Prophet ﷺ took effected the palate of his mouth, while Bishr bin Al-Bara' bin Ma'rur died from eating from that sheep. The Prophet ﷺ had the Jewish woman, Zaynab, who poisoned the sheep, killed. Therefore, the Prophet ﷺ and his Companions wanted to eat from that sheep and did not ask the Jews if they removed what the Jews believed was prohibited for them, such as its fat. Allah's statement, وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ (and your food is lawful to them.) means, you are allowed to feed them from your slaughtered animals. Therefore, this part of the Ayah is not to inform the People of the Scriptures that they are allowed to eat our food – unless we consider it information for us about the ruling that they have – i. e, that they are allowed all types of foods over which Allah's Name was mentioned, whether slaughtered according to their religion or otherwise. The first explanation is more plausible. So it means: you are allowed to feed them from your slaughtered animals just as you are allowed to eat from theirs, as equal compensation and fair treatment. The Prophet ﷺ gave his robe to 'Abdullah bin Ubayy bin Salul, who was wrapped with it when he died. They say that he ﷺ did that because 'Abdullah had given his robe to Al-'Abbas when Al-'Abbas came to Al-Madinah. As for the Hadith, لَا تَصْحَبْ إِلَّا مُؤْمِنًا، وَلَا يَأْكُلْ طَعَامَكَ إِلَّا تَقِيٌّ (Do not befriend but a believer, nor should other than a 'Taqi' (pious person) eat your food.), This is to encourage such behavior, and Allah knows best. The Permission to Marry Chaste Women From the People of the Scriptures Allah said, وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ((Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers) The Ayah states: you are allowed to marry free, chaste believing women. This Ayah is talking about women who do not commit fornication, as evident by the word 'chaste'. Allah said in another Ayah, مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ (Desiring chastity not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as boyfriends (lovers).)[4:25] 'Abdullah Ibn 'Umar used to advise against marrying Christian women saying, "I do not know of a worse case of Shirk than her saying that 'Isa is her lord, while Allah said, وَلَا تَنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ (And do not marry idolatresses till they believe.)[2:221]" Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that Abu Malik Al-Ghifari said that Ibn 'Abbas said that when this Ayah was revealed, وَلَا تَنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ (And do not marry idolatresses till they believe,)[2:221] the people did not marry the pagan women. When the following Ayah was revealed, وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ ((Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture before your time) they married women from the People of the Book. " Some of the Companions married Christian women and did not see any problem in this, relying on the honorable Ayah, وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ ((Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from those who were given the Scripture before your time) Therefore, they made this Ayah an exception to the Ayah in Surat Al-Baqarah, وَلَا تَنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ (And do not marry the idolatresses till they believe,)[2:221] considering the latter Ayah to include the People of the Book in its general meaning. Otherwise, there is no contradiction here, since the People of the Book were mentioned alone when mentioning the rest of the idolators. Allah said, لَمْ يَكُنِ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ وَالْمُشْرِكِينَ مُنفَكِّينَ حَتَّىٰ تَأْتِيَهُمُ الْبَيِّنَةُ (Those who disbelieve from among the People of the Scripture and the idolators, were not going to leave (their disbelief) until there came to them clear evidence.)[98:1] and, وَقُل لِّلَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ وَالْأُمِّيِّينَ أَأَسْلَمْتُمْ فَإِنْ أَسْلَمُوا فَقَدِ اهْتَدَوا (And say to those who were given the Scripture and to those who are illiterates: "Do you (also) submit yourselves?" If they do, they are rightly guided.)[3:20] Allah said next, إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ (When you have given them their due), This refers to the Mahr, so just as these women are chaste and honorable, then give them their Mahr with a good heart. We should mention here that Jabir bin 'Abdullah, 'Amir Ash-Sha'bi, Ibrahim An-Nakha'i and Al-Hasan Al-Basri stated that when a man marries a woman and she commits illegal sexual intercourse before the marriage is consummated, the marriage is annulled. In this case, she gives back the Mahr that he paid her. Allah said, مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ وَلَا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ (Desiring chastity, not illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends (or lovers).) And just as women must be chaste and avoid illegal sexual activity, such is the case with men, who must also be chaste and honorable. Therefore, Allah said, غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ (...not illegal sexual intercourse') as adulterous people do, those who do not avoid sin, nor reject adultery with whomever offers it to them. وَلَا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ (nor taking them as girl-friends (or lovers),) meaning those who have mistresses and girlfriends who commit illegal sexual intercourse with them, as we mentioned in the explanation of Surat An-Nisa'.
Repent to Allah sincerely; perhaps your Lord will remove your misdeeds.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ تُوبُوٓاْ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ تَوۡبَةࣰ نَّصُوحًا عَسَىٰ رَبُّكُمۡ أَن يُكَفِّرَ عَنكُمۡ سَيِّـَٔاتِكُمۡ وَيُدۡخِلَكُمۡ جَنَّٰتࣲ تَجۡرِي مِن تَحۡتِهَا ٱلۡأَنۡهَٰرُ يَوۡمَ لَا يُخۡزِي ٱللَّهُ ٱلنَّبِيَّ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ مَعَهُۥۖ نُورُهُمۡ يَسۡعَىٰ بَيۡنَ أَيۡدِيهِمۡ وَبِأَيۡمَٰنِهِمۡ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَآ أَتۡمِمۡ لَنَا نُورَنَا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَآۖ إِنَّكَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيۡءࣲ قَدِيرࣱ ٨
O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your misdeeds and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow [on] the Day when Allah will not disgrace the Prophet and those who believed with him. Their light will proceed before them and on their right; they will say, "Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent
This answer was compiled with the help of AI, using only the verified texts shown here. Every reference links to its source. If you find a mistake, please report it. Updated 2026-09-24