What are the rules on talking to the opposite gender in Islam?

The evidence

1. 1

   Quran Al-Qasas · 28:23–25

   Musa (AS) spoke with two women at the well and helped them; one came to him modestly with a message.

   وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَآءَ مَدۡيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيۡهِ أُمَّةࣰ مِّنَ ٱلنَّاسِ يَسۡقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِن دُونِهِمُ ٱمۡرَأَتَيۡنِ تَذُودَانِۖ قَالَ مَا خَطۡبُكُمَاۖ قَالَتَا لَا نَسۡقِي حَتَّىٰ يُصۡدِرَ ٱلرِّعَآءُۖ وَأَبُونَا شَيۡخࣱ كَبِيرࣱ‏ ۝٢٣ فَسَقَىٰ لَهُمَا ثُمَّ تَوَلَّىٰٓ إِلَى ٱلظِّلِّ فَقَالَ رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَآ أَنزَلۡتَ إِلَيَّ مِنۡ خَيۡرࣲ فَقِيرࣱ‏ ۝٢٤ فَجَآءَتۡهُ إِحۡدَىٰهُمَا تَمۡشِي عَلَى ٱسۡتِحۡيَآءࣲ قَالَتۡ إِنَّ أَبِي يَدۡعُوكَ لِيَجۡزِيَكَ أَجۡرَ مَا سَقَيۡتَ لَنَاۚ فَلَمَّا جَآءَهُۥ وَقَصَّ عَلَيۡهِ ٱلۡقَصَصَ قَالَ لَا تَخَفۡۖ نَجَوۡتَ مِنَ ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلظَّٰلِمِينَ ۝٢٥

   ²³ And when he came to the well of Madyan, he found there a crowd of people watering [their flocks], and he found aside from them two women driving back [their flocks]. He said, "What is your circumstance?" They said, "We do not water until the shepherds dispatch [their flocks]; and our father is an old man ²⁴ So he watered [their flocks] for them; then he went back to the shade and said, "My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need ²⁵ Then one of the two women came to him walking with shyness. She said, "Indeed, my father invites you that he may reward you for having watered for us." So when he came to him and related to him the story, he said, "Fear not. You have escaped from the wrongdoing people

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2. 2

   Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 101

   Sahih Bukhari

   Women asked the Prophet ﷺ for a day of teaching of their own.

   Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri:Some women requested the Prophet (ﷺ) to fix a day for them as the men were taking all his time. On that he promised them one day for religious lessons and commandments. Once during such a lesson the Prophet said, "A woman whose three children die will be shielded by them from the Hell fire." On that a woman asked, "If only two die?" He replied, "Even two (will shield her from the Hell-fire)

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   العربية

   حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي ابْنُ الأَصْبَهَانِيِّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا صَالِحٍ، ذَكْوَانَ يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ،‏.‏ قَالَتِ النِّسَاءُ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم غَلَبَنَا عَلَيْكَ الرِّجَالُ، فَاجْعَلْ لَنَا يَوْمًا مِنْ نَفْسِكَ‏.‏ فَوَعَدَهُنَّ يَوْمًا لَقِيَهُنَّ فِيهِ، فَوَعَظَهُنَّ وَأَمَرَهُنَّ، فَكَانَ فِيمَا قَالَ لَهُنَّ ‏"‏ مَا مِنْكُنَّ امْرَأَةٌ تُقَدِّمُ ثَلاَثَةً مِنْ وَلَدِهَا إِلاَّ كَانَ لَهَا حِجَابًا مِنَ النَّارِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَتِ امْرَأَةٌ وَاثْنَيْنِ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ وَاثْنَيْنِ ‏"‏‏.‏

3. 3

   Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 130

   Sahih Bukhari

   Umm Sulaym asked the Prophet ﷺ a private religious question.

   Narrated Um Salama:Um-Sulaim came to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and said, "Verily, Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to take a bath after she has a wet dream (nocturnal sexual discharge?) The Prophet replied, "Yes, if she notices a discharge." Um Salama, then covered her face and asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Does a woman get a discharge?" He replied, "Yes, let your right hand be in dust (An Arabic expression you say to a person when you contradict his statement meaning "you will not achieve goodness"), and that is why the son resembles his mother

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   العربية

   حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ سَلاَمٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ زَيْنَبَ ابْنَةِ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، قَالَتْ جَاءَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْحَقِّ، فَهَلْ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ مِنْ غُسْلٍ إِذَا احْتَلَمَتْ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ إِذَا رَأَتِ الْمَاءَ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَغَطَّتْ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ ـ تَعْنِي وَجْهَهَا ـ وَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَتَحْتَلِمُ الْمَرْأَةُ قَالَ ‏"‏ نَعَمْ تَرِبَتْ يَمِينُكِ فَبِمَ يُشْبِهُهَا وَلَدُهَا ‏"‏‏.‏

4. 4

   Quran Al-Ahzaab · 33:32

   Do not be soft in speech lest one with a diseased heart covet; speak appropriately.

   يَٰنِسَآءَ ٱلنَّبِيِّ لَسۡتُنَّ كَأَحَدࣲ مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ إِنِ ٱتَّقَيۡتُنَّۚ فَلَا تَخۡضَعۡنَ بِٱلۡقَوۡلِ فَيَطۡمَعَ ٱلَّذِي فِي قَلۡبِهِۦ مَرَضࣱ وَقُلۡنَ قَوۡلࣰ ا مَّعۡرُوفࣰ ا ۝٣٢

   O wives of the Prophet, you are not like anyone among women. If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech

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5. 5

   Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 5233

   Sahih Bukhari

   No man should be alone with a woman except with a mahram present.

   Narrated Ibn `Abbas:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "No man should stay with a lady in seclusion except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram." A man stood up and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! My wife has gone out intending to perform the Hajj and I have been enrolled (in the army) for such-and-such campaign." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Return and perform the Hajj with your wife

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   العربية

   حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا عَمْرٌو، عَنْ أَبِي مَعْبَدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ مَعَ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ امْرَأَتِي خَرَجَتْ حَاجَّةً وَاكْتُتِبْتُ فِي غَزْوَةِ كَذَا وَكَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ ارْجِعْ فَحُجَّ مَعَ امْرَأَتِكَ ‏"‏‏.‏

6. 6

   Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 5232

   Sahih Bukhari

   Beware of entering upon women; the in-laws are death.

   Narrated `Uqba bin 'Amir:Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Beware of entering upon the ladies." A man from the Ansar said, "Allah's Apostle! What about Al-Hamu the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet (ﷺ) replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself

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   العربية

   حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا لَيْثٌ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ أَبِي حَبِيبٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الْخَيْرِ، عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ إِيَّاكُمْ وَالدُّخُولَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَفَرَأَيْتَ الْحَمْوَ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ الْحَمْوُ الْمَوْتُ ‏"‏‏.‏

7. 7

   Quran An-Noor · 24:30–31

   Believing men and women are told to lower their gaze and guard their modesty.

   قُل لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ يَغُضُّواْ مِنۡ أَبۡصَٰرِهِمۡ وَيَحۡفَظُواْ فُرُوجَهُمۡۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزۡكَىٰ لَهُمۡۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرُۢ بِمَا يَصۡنَعُونَ ۝٣٠ وَقُل لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنَٰتِ يَغۡضُضۡنَ مِنۡ أَبۡصَٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحۡفَظۡنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبۡدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنۡهَاۖ وَلۡيَضۡرِبۡنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّۖ وَلَا يُبۡدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوۡ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوۡ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوۡ أَبۡنَآئِهِنَّ أَوۡ أَبۡنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوۡ إِخۡوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوۡ بَنِيٓ إِخۡوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوۡ بَنِيٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوۡ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوۡ مَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّٰبِعِينَ غَيۡرِ أُوْلِي ٱلۡإِرۡبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفۡلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمۡ يَظۡهَرُواْ عَلَىٰ عَوۡرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِۖ وَلَا يَضۡرِبۡنَ بِأَرۡجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعۡلَمَ مَا يُخۡفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّۚ وَتُوبُوٓاْ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تُفۡلِحُونَ ۝٣١

   ³⁰ Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do ³¹ And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed

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